Monday, January 26, 2004
hi....
im in sch now. finally im online. yay!
this whole hols do nothing. so damn sian.
i really miss....
haiz... so sad...
sometimes i do a lot of stupid things. n im really evil to ppl. but haiz...
oh well..
anyways today i was late for sch. damn long story. got caught in the rain. bloody PE ppl...grr...bcos of them i must hide. ish!!!
i think someone has been reading my emails. i wonder who the f it is. grr.
anyways let me give u an analogy k. im in a boat. its kinda rocky. the waves are really choppy. but sometimes there are moments when the sea is calm and i really enjoy the sun. then when the sea is choppy again i just want to jump out. but i know when i jump out of the boat i'll drown and i'll die. so its better to stay on the boat. n i guess what im trying to say is tt im really stuck. i enjoy it in the good times but when there are those bad times i feel really scared tt i will fall off the boat again. i mean i was in the boat once b4. n i fell off. almost drowned. but i got back in the boat. i survived. but what if i fall out again?? scary.
i really am in too deep. n i cant get out. i dont even want to.
guess i shld just bask in it??
but u see i dun want to be an irritant. i dunno how the environment feels. cos i think me in the boat is irritating the environment. n all i want to do is just jump out so i can try to find another lifeline...i am so not making sense now. but i get it.
i think i must just keep it cool. i wish i had internet!!!!
i think i am. but i wont admit it. urgh!!!!
--insignificant lies--
10:49 am
